Sunday, April 19, 2009

Weather

Hello again.
It's cold outside. Cold for spring. In the sun I feel warm, the wind slaps me across the face in some form of natural envy. And they work to see each other give in to the others polar currents. But then again perhaps they work in acknowledgment of each other. In a close kinship, one isolates the other to make the human who's feeling one of the two weather extremes, feel an abandonment of the other. Than the other relaxes as the human begins to urge the presence of the other extreme. One is far too much. One cannot be exposed to one thing for too long.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Tastes change, but subtly. Someones tastes do not fully change but adapt to the years they are becoming. With each year comes a new ear, new skin that is touched or perhaps dimpled, and new sight. And one may pray that they observe something in a new light or learn to love something more, but it's the exposure to the positives of this 'thing', or the unexpected and enlightening, that truly evolve one's senses.
I've been exposed to many new sounds and faces, especially last summer. And I can't decided if it's the distance between me and that 'thing' that has built this admiration or rather a change of tastes. Whether I've grown to love it because of the memories so potently attached to the thought of it or because I've been through enough to realize this 'thing' can be categorized amongst many things that now, with maturity, suit my interests. Perhaps I over think the effects of growing up. And perhaps it's what I'm supposed to do. Maybe everyone does, it's just an absurd topic of conversation.
take away for today: http://www.myspace.com/bellorchestre

I would've never listen to anything instrumental last year. I see the story telling now.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Storytelling

I once had a history teacher that told me my English mark would always suffer and that if i were to pursue a career in business I would face the same issue because of my writing. She cradled her criticism with the reassurance that if I were patient enough to devote energy to spending time in a null state watching a novel build and leak in the heart of my head, I'd be famous. Now I suppose that's how i write. That the ideas do not exist until I have derived that one before from the idea before that and the idea before that, and so on. It gets messy. Often the ideas have no real link until the end which often leaves my fingers sticky and uncomfortable to rest together. It's only then i consider the best way to rest my hands to avoid odd looks from neighbours and to be able to rest naturally. I suppose if the substance is sheer on your hands you have little to worry about, just act like nothings there. I feel that way about acting too, act like nothings waiting to be flushed out of your mouth to support the scene/your character's purpose/the other actors intentions. Rather to pretend, scientifically, your brain sparked a reasoning function of sorts, and with the intention to respond sincerely to the person speaking to you on the set, instantly connected with the nerves in your lips to communicate your thoughts. I don't feel like I'm writing when I'm writing. I feel like my brain is communicating with my hands. And I feel like I'm running. I feel like I'm out of breath. If i run a bit further I'll reach a goal.
It's nice to achieve that. So everything ties together in the end. And I've discovered something new about myself that I perhaps just wasn't really aware of before.
Writing is about discovery. So is reading. How do you intend to grow if what you know you must experience is already planned. It's definitely why I've never been able to write essays, I try to explore too many ideas within one thesis. Growth happens because of the pull of ideas and the circles they spin. The moments that make you speak to yourself aloud inside your head. All call to arms. You can't always get what you want. Each idea is a powerful trigger that leads to the next, much like each milestone in life is a circumstance that helps you deal with the next that will surely follow. Unless you are dead, Wake the fuck up.
take away for today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q85xVaTfdgE&feature=PlayList&p=8701FEDF5CDD4253&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=19

sorry if you don't laugh. you don't really have to pay a dollar. but shit happens some times.
you can't always get what you want.